


Chickens

by fhsa_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drabble, Drama, Humor, Romance, Silly, Snippets, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-27
Updated: 2007-02-06
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:08:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: A series of drabbles all with the central theme of certain ornery chickens that seem to plague the lives of the Rat and Bear.





	1. Chapter 1  SNOW

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

“It’s really coming down hard out there.”

 

 

“It does that out here.”

 

 

“Reminds me of...”

 

 

“Russia?”

 

 

“I was going to say, Buffalo.”

 

 

“Buffalo? When were you in Buffalo? On second thought, I don’t want to know.”

 

 

“That’s probably best. You’re still an officer of the law.”

 

 

“Humphf!”

 

 

“Can we add some more logs on the fire?”

 

 

“Of course, and I’ll make you some of my famous hot cocoa.”

 

 

“With whipped cream?”

 

 

“With whipped cream. Alex, may I ask you something?”

 

 

“I can’t guarantee I’ll answer.”

 

 

“I’ll take my chances.”

 

 

“Shoot, um, ask.”

 

 

“You have a lot more Russian blood in you than I do. Why is it you always seem to be cold?”

 

 

“The silo.”

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“The silo. When I was trapped with the black oil, it was cold, so cold. I thought I’d die from the cold and the loneliness.”

 

 

“I’m sorry, Alex. I should have never brought it up.”

 

 

“No matter, but I’ll take some of that hot cocoa, if it’s ready.”

 

 

“Sit by the fire; I’ll bring it.”

 

 

“Thank you. Walter?”

 

 

“Hmm?”

 

 

“The chickens. Won’t they just get extra mean and ornery out there in all of that?”

 

 

“Don’t worry about them. I moved the coop into the barn last night. They’ll be nice and warm with the cows.”

 

 

“Huh. I pity the cows.”

 

-end-


	2. Chapter 2  Memories of the Heart

Alex Krycek, ex-triple agent and assassin extraordinaire was currently in the kitchen making lunch. His partner and lover, the former AD Skinner of the FBI decided to clean out the hall closet. Walter dragged a heavy box into the living room, where he was about to lift it onto the coffee table. Walter had given most of his adult life to his country, first in Viet Nam, then to law enforcement and then the FBI. All he got in return were a lot of heavy, dusty boxes. No, that wasn’t completely true. He got Alex Krycek. The younger man was currently slicing up tomatoes for their sandwiches with surgical precision.

 

 

“What’s in that one?” Alex looked up as Walter was about to lift the box.

 

 

“I’m not sure. The ‘cleaning crew’ came into my office and poof, I was packed. And don’t let the gate hit you in the ass as you leave.”

 

 

“Kim must have had a fit.”

 

 

“Big time. She was my assistant for a long time; I relied on her. She was pissed that she wasn’t allowed to help.”

 

 

“So, I repeat; what’s in it?” Walter heaved the box onto the table, sat down with a huff then gingerly lifted the dusty lid.

 

 

“Hey, so that’s where it's been hiding.”

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“My desk nameplate.”

 

 

“You should put that on your desk in your office.”

 

 

“No, I’m not that man anymore.”

 

 

“On the bookshelf then.” Walter nodded.

 

 

Walter took out a large manila envelope. It was sealed but with no indications of its contents. He ripped open the envelope. Some pens and paperclips spilled out then an old pack of Morley’s in an evidence bag slid out. Walter’s world suddenly became dark.

 

 

*****

 

 

“Mr. Skinner, Mr. Skinner? I’m Dr. Sully. Try to open your eyes for me.”

 

 

“Scully?”

 

 

“No, Mr. Skinner, Robin Sully, your cardiologist.”

 

 

“Did I have a heart...?” Walter’s mouth felt like cotton and he was groggy.

 

 

“Stay calm. You didn’t have a heart attack. Your heart is as strong as a bull. You’re in remarkable shape, inside and out. We’re keeping you over night for observations. You can go home tomorrow after we complete some tests. Now, there’s a gentleman outside who has been flirting with all of my staff and attempting to bribe his way in here. To save us all a lot of embarrassment, I’m going to let him visit for ten minutes and only ten minutes. You need some rest.”

 

 

“Okay.”

 

 

“Your health care proxy indicates that he is your proxy, so I’ll inform him about our findings after your visit.”

 

 

“Thank you.”

 

 

“You’re very welcome. Now rest.” The doctor went to the door to let Alex in. “I’ll be in my office. When you’re done with your visit, have the nurse direct you. I’ll tell you all I know. Ten minutes, Mr. Spender, only ten minutes. And don’t bother batting your lashes at me or glaring. It won’t work.” The doctor left with a flurry of her starched lab coat. 

 

 

“Skinner, you scared the shit out of me. One minute we’re talking, the next thing I knew, you were passed out and sliding onto the floor.” Alex admonished the older man who was looking a little pale.

 

 

“Skinner? What happened to Walter?”

 

 

“I left him at home.”

 

 

“Alex...”

 

 

“You listen to me, old man,” Krycek moved in close to growl in Skinner’s ear. “You will get better because I’m taking you home tomorrow as soon as the doc gives me the okay. Or, or else! And it’s Krycek.”

 

 

“Krycek, are you threatening me?” Skinner attempted his own growl but found he was getting very sleepy. The strain and the drugs were taking their toll.

 

 

“Been there, done that. I plan on holding those nasty chickens of yours for ransom. For every day past tomorrow that you’re in this hospital, a chicken will be sacrificed,” Krycek stated coldly.

 

 

“Alex.”

 

 

“Krycek. Now sleep. I’m going to speak with that pretty doctor of yours.” Krycek leaned down to place a chaste kiss on his lover’s lip. “Sleep. Get better. That’s an order.”

 

 

“Yes sir,” Skinner mumbled then fell asleep. Alex watched him for a few moments then went out to find the doctor.

 

 

*****

 

 

“He’s fine. It wasn’t a heart attack. All his tests came back negative. We’ll monitor him during the night then do a cardiac catheterization in the morning. You should be able to take him home in the afternoon.”

 

 

“What happened to him?”

 

 

“I think he experienced a vasovagal episode. He fainted. His heart is very strong and he’s in great shape.”

 

 

“For a man his age?”

 

 

“For a man at any age. You both are. Was he lifting anything or making a sudden movement?”

 

 

“Both.”

 

 

“Then I suspect that's what triggered it. It may never happen again. But we should track it. He may need medication in the future. I’ll send him home on a halter monitor. You can return it here the day after tomorrow.” Alex nodded as he made a few notes on his PDA.

 

 

“Who’s your primary doctor? I’ll send him a copy of the reports.”

 

 

“We have a doctor in town, Dr. Martins.”

 

 

“Richard Martins?”

 

 

“Yes, you know him?”

 

 

“He’s a colleague and also my uncle. He inspired me into going into medicine. I’ll give him a call.”

 

 

“Thank you. Can I spend some more time with him? I really...” The doctor held up her hand.

 

 

“Go, but I want him to sleep. You can stay for a while then I want you to go home to get some rest, take a shower and eat something. He’ll need your strength tomorrow. Some of the tests can be tiring. I’ll clear it with the nurses. And no more flirting.”

 

 

The doctor smiled at Alex and was rewarded by one of his. Alex just about skipped out of her office.

 

 

*****

 

 

“Alex, stop hovering. The doctor said everything is fine.”

 

 

“I’m allowed to hover. That’s my job.”

 

 

“Besides threatening the orderly with dismemberment when he didn’t relinquish my wheelchair quick enough for you. You really have to work on your people skills.”

 

 

“Walter, I don’t need any people skills out here.”

 

 

“Oh, so now it’s Walter again,” Walter stated with a slight twinge of sarcasm. 

 

 

“Shut up. You’re supposed to be relaxing. Doctor’s orders. Dinner will be ready in an hour.”

 

 

“It smells divine. What are we having?” 

 

 

“Chicken Kiev.”

 

 

“Chick...Alex? Alex?! KRYCEK!!!”

 

 

-end-


	3. Chapter 3  Run Amuck

“God damn it!”

 

 

Alex woke up at Walter’s cry, his hand immediately searching for the gun he realized wasn’t there. Alex quickly threw on his jeans then ran out into the living room and into pandemonium. Walter was frantically chasing a dozen clucking birds around the furniture trying to get them out the kitchen door.

 

 

“Alex! Don’t just stand there, help me get these blasted chickens outside!” Walter roared in frustration.

 

 

Calmly Alex went into the kitchen for a couple of dish towels. He then put two fingers into his mouth and let out a loud shrill whistle. Twirling a towel in each hand Alex then called to the chickens who were frozen into place, startled by the whistle.

 

 

“Ladies, ladies...out!” Alex called. Looking down on a plump brown hen, “Come on Betsy, out. Henrietta, Annie, move those scrawny legs of yours. Let’s go, girls. Go home.”

 

 

Alex managed to herd the ornery beasts out into the barn yard and closed the gate. He strolled back into the house where he found a befuddled looking partner standing amidst swirling wisps of chicken feathers.

 

 

“Walter, are you all right?” Alex enquired as he handed a broom to Walter then began picking feathers off Walter’s shoulders and head.

 

 

“Alex, how did you do that?”

 

 

Alex smiled sweetly at his love, the jade eyes twinkling in the morning light. “They’re just a bunch of old hens who need a young cock.”

 

 

Alex gave Walter a peck on the lips then steered him toward the direction of the living room.


	4. Chapter 4  A Fox in the Henhouse

One minute Walter Sergei Skinner was pleasantly spooning up against his lover, one Alexi Krycek. The next minute said lover had Walter flat on his back, straddling him, with a strategically placed arm cutting off his only source of air.

 

“Alex, Alex,” Walter choked out to his not fully awake lover, “Alex, it’s Walter, wake up.” A very relieved Walter watched as Alex’s eyes came into focus.

 

“Are you trying to get yourself killed, Walter?” Alex was stunned but had not yet removed his arm from Walter’s throat.

 

“Been there, done that...um, arm.”

 

“What?”

 

“Arm, move your arm. A little air would be nice.”

 

“Oops, sorry, Walter,” Alex said as he blushed with embarrassment then quickly began to move off of his lover. Walter was grateful to be able to breathe but he swiftly grabbed for Alex, forcing the younger man back on top of himself. Alex laid himself atop Walter, kissing his older lover, including his slightly bruised neck.

 

“Um, Walter, why the sudden risk of bodily harm?” Alex asked contritely.

 

“I thought I heard your vixen harassing the chickens. I wanted you to go out and check on them but I forgot to use the secret password.” Alex’s look of confusion made Walter laugh. Alex was far from young but the gifts bestowed by the ‘good guys’ gave Alex the appearance of young man in his twenties. As Alex’s little nose crinkled, Walter laughed louder.

 

“You’re lucky I love you, old man. And what the fuck is the secret password?” Alex groused as he kissed the bald pate.

 

“I haven’t figured it out yet but I had better and soon. You may have retired from the game but your reflexes haven’t.” Alex groaned then buried his face into Walter’s neck.

 

“Your fox, Alex, go check on your little pet.” Alex’s head popped up from its resting place.

 

“She’s not my pet. She adopted us both.”

 

“Maybe but she seems to respond to you. Who knew you had a way with foxes?” Walter chuckled again.

 

“Only the wild furry kind, my love. I could never tame the other variety.”

 

“And I’m eternally grateful for that. Go, make sure we won’t find a barnyard full of chicken feathers and bones.”

 

“Would serve those ornery beasts right,” Alex grumbled as he relinquished his warm spot atop his lover to leave their bed and get dressed. Alex threw on a pair of jeans, slipped into his moccasins then reached into his bedside table for his knife.

 

“Is that necessary?” Walter indicated the knife. Alex gave Walter a cross eyed look. “Sorry I asked. Hurry back, I’m not ready to begin the day yet.”

 

“Lazy bones.” Alex chuckled but he swiftly exited their room.

 

Sunday was Walter and Alex’s day of rest. That meant spending as much time as they could lounging in their big bed, making love often, eventually getting up to cook and enjoy feeding each other. They would then read the paper, watch whatever game was on, or in nice weather, go hiking through the forest and mountains. Sunday was their gift to each other.

 

Before leaving the house, Alex checked the security system. If anyone had gotten in, alarms would have gone off but Alex checked the system anyway. Then he did a perimeter sweep of the surrounding barnyard, corral and barn. Finding nothing, Alex ventured toward the chicken coop.

 

“Lisa, Lisa,” Alex called out gently as he approached the coop to open the door. He could hear the birds inside angrily clucking. As Alex opened the door, a flash of reddish brown streaked by him, heading straight for the barn. Then chickens scurried down the ramp into the yard. Alex reached up for the feed bucket and began to spread a layer across the yard. The chickens calmed as they began to feed.

 

While the birds ate, Alex reached into the coop to grab the basket he used for collecting eggs. He filled his basket, spread down a few more handfuls of feed on the ground then went to the barn.

 

“Lisa,” Alex called out again. From behind a bale of hay, a little black nose peered out. Slowly, Alex crouched low to the ground. He removed two eggs from his basket and offered them to the little vixen. Cautiously, the almost tame creature came up to Alex to receive her prize. The fox took one egg and immediately bit it open to eat. Alex smiled as he murmured gentle words in Russian to the small animal. The little fox licked her face clean then watched as Alex rolled another egg toward her. Before she picked it up, she allowed Alex to pet her head. Alex watched as the little fur ball picked up the second egg then went back to her hiding place behind the hay.

 

“Stop picking on the chickens, Lisa, behave yourself,” Alex admonished the vixen, knowing full well that the fox would ignore his warnings. “What’s with foxes, always chasing after things they can’t have,” he muttered to himself as he stood.

 

Alex went back into the house.

 

“Everything okay out there?” Walter asked his lover as Alex removed his clothes and got back into bed.

 

“Fine. She was in the coop. The girls were no worse for wear but I gave them seconds for their trouble,” Alex stated as he snuggled up against Walter’s warm body. “Got us some eggs for later.”

 

“And your fox?”

 

“Gave her a couple of her own too.”

 

Walter turned in bed to face his lover.

 

“You never cease to amaze me.”

 

“Why do you say that?”

 

“Alex, I’ve seen you kill with your bare hands and yet these hands can show such compassion.”

 

“You mean compassion toward the fox?”

 

“Yes and to our ornery chickens.” Alex became silent as he mulled over Walter’s words.

 

“Walter, you’re not jealous of a little fox, are you? She’s just grateful that we rescued her from the fire. As for your chickens...”

 

“Our chickens.”

 

“Our chickens, they just need someone to look after them.”

 

“Like me?”

 

“And me.” Alex and Walter cuddled closer to kiss and caress.

 

“Lexi, I promise you, I’m not jealous of the fox, four legged or otherwise. I just marvel at the way they trust you.”

 

“Maybe, I just have a way with foxes,” Alex whispered into the big man’s ear, gently nipping his earlobe as he ran his hand down Walter’s furry chest to his hardening cock.

 

“Alex, you have a way with bears too,” Walter exclaimed as all the blood in his brain traveled south. No more coherent words were said by either man.

 

*****

 

Some time later as Walter slept the sleep of a sexually sated man, Alex got dressed and went back out into the barn.

 

“Why are you here? You’re risking everything.”

 

“No one knows I’m here.”

 

“And the missus?”

 

“Thinks I’m at a sci-fi convention.”

 

“Close. I’m a walking sci-fi convention.”

 

“True.”

 

“You didn’t answer me.”

 

“I’m here to see for myself.”

 

“That I’m alive or that he’s alive and well.”

 

“Both.”

 

“You shouldn’t be here.”

 

“I’m going; I’ve seen enough.”

 

“You believe?”

 

“I believe.” Alex turned to walk away.

 

“Goodbye, Lisa.”

 

“Goodbye, you Rat, and thank you.”

 

-end----maybe-


End file.
